Best Facebook Statuses

ʎɐqǝ uo pɹɐoqʎǝʞ ɐ ʎnq ı ǝɯıʇ ʇsɐן ǝɥʇ sı sıɥʇ

┣▇f͟͞a͟͞c͟͞e͟͞b͟͞o͟͞o͟͞k͟͞▇▇═─ This drug is very efficient for cases of chronic boredom. Extra doses can lead to addiction!

˙ǝןƃuɐ ʇuǝɹǝɟɟıp ɐ ɯoɹɟ pןɹoʍ ǝɥʇ ʇɐ ʞooן ɐ ƃuıʞɐʇ sı

This dog,is dog,a dog,good dog,way dog,2 dog,keep dog,an dog,idiot dog,busy dog,4 dog,30 dog,seconds dog. Now read without the word dog!

if only life came with a ◄◄ REW ► PLAY ▌▌PAUSE █▌STOP ►►

-► PlayTheMoments ▌▌ PauseTheMemories ■ StopThePain ◄◄ RewindTheHappiness

U have 10 fish, 5 drown, 3 come back to life. How many fish do you have? Stop counting smart one. Fish cant Drown

scratch here ▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒ to reveal today's status.

Have you noticed that the "lol" symbol looks like a drowning guy? i bet hes not laughing out loud

(:pɐǝɥ ʎɯ oʇ ƃuıuunɹ sı poolq ʎɯ ɟo llɐ

Light travels faster than sound. This is why some people appear bright until you hear them speak.

says if u need a friend (text me) need a laugh (call me) need a hug (stop by) need money (this number is no longer in service) lol

--^v--^v--^v--^v-_____^v--^v--^v-- For a second there, I was bored to death

Dont you find it Funny that after Monday(M) and Tuesday(T), the rest of the week says WTF?

Nobody wished me a happy birthday today, which isn't surprising really, since it isn't my birthday.

Don't wait for the perfect moment...Take the moment and make it perfect...

What do I do when I see someone EXTREMELY GORGEOUS? I stare, I smile & when I get tired, I put the mirror down!

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One day twitter, facebook, and youtube will combine to make the most time consuming website known to mankind. We'll call it "YOU TWIT FACE".

Life is short, break the rules, forgive quickly, kiss slowly, love truly, laugh uncontrollably and never regret anything that made you smile .

When somebody says you've changed, it's only because you stopped living your life their way.

Did u know that when some1 annoys u, it takes 42 muscles to frown, But it only takes 4 muscles to extend ur arm out and smack'em in the head.

I looked at the keyboard earlier and I noticed 'U' & 'I' are together, it's meant to be! Then I looked underneath it & it said JK.

Why is it when people ask you "what three things would you bring with you on a deserted island?" , no one ever replies, "A BOAT"

Facebook is the only place where its acceptable to talk to a wall.

One day you're gonna ask me whose life is more important? Yours or mine, I will say mine and you'll walk away never knowing you are my life.

Never be afraid to try something new. Remember, amateurs built the ark. Professionals built the Titanic.

is wondering if you can grow marijuana on Farmville then sell it on Mafia Wars?

status under construction ██████████████] 99%

is wondering what the person who discovered milk was doing with the cow .

dreams of a better world...where chickens can cross the road without having their motives questioned :0)

says always listen to your heart because even though its on the left side, it's always right .

is proud of herself. She finished a jigsaw puzzle in 6 months and the box said 2-4 years.

Life ends when u stop dreaming, hope ends when u stop believing & love ends when u stop caring. So dream hope & love...Makes Life Beautiful

Try to say the letter 'M' without your lips touching. Click Star if you tried.

I just read last year 4,153,237 ppl got married. I don't want to start any trouble, but shouldn't that be an even number?

Women are angels, and when someone breaks our wings, we continue to fly...on a broomstick. We're flexible that way.

Got a problem with me? solve it. Think im trippin? tie my shoe. Cant stand me? sit down. Cant face me? turn around an start walking .

If for only 1 day the anwser was YES what would you ask me for???

"The greatest thing about Facebook, is that you can quote something and totally make up the source.” – George Washington

I'm the author of my life.Unfortunately I'm writing in pen so I can't erase my mistakes.

Never make the same mistake twice, There are so many new ones, Try a different one each day.

Press Ctrl+W to see something amazing...

Say's ih yas 2 detnaw tsuj i taht tuo dnif u nehw gnitatirri yrev ti dnif yam u..... CONFUSED?? now read it backwards!!

In the Beginning, God made the Heaven and Earth. The rest was Made in China.

Facebook is like a fridge. When you're bored you keep opening and closing it every few minutes to see if there's anything good in it.

Facebook is like Jail, you sit around and waste time, You write on walls and you get poked by people you dont know .

is retired. I was tired yesterday, and I'm tired again today.